A Good Man is Hard to Find

by FAGGOT

supported by
Joseph Woolnough
Joseph Woolnough thumbnail
Joseph Woolnough The best kind of uncompromising punk badassery you could hope to find. Never tire of this album. Favorite track: Flannery O'Connor.
Donald Hargraves
Donald Hargraves thumbnail
Donald Hargraves So much said here that you won't hear anywhere else, either on or off the radio. Favorite track: Bad Habits Die Old.
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credits

released July 7, 2014

All songs by Len and Swithun

All songs written and recorded 2012 - 2013

Recorded and mixed by Sherry Ostapovitch

Mastered by Mark Jasper at Sound Savers

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about

FAGGOT UK

WE HOPE YOU GET A SOCIAL DISEASE.

2 QUEER BOYS SINGING SONGS YOUR FATHER WARNED YOU ABOUT.

Email fagsinlove@gmail.com.

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Track Name: 7 8ths and 2 3rds
The only reason I wanna jump on your bones
Is 7 8ths social conditioning and 2 3rds pheromones
And yes I know my maths might be a little out
But nothing fits anyway, so chuck it all out
And technically I’m not meant to want you to want me
Because I’m not a woman and you’re a dyke
But the rules of attraction are just a load of shite
Fuck who you want and want who you like
Just because you read it on the internet doesn’t mean it’s right
And the memes that they constantly type
They say nothing to me about my life

7 8ths and 2 3rds
Before we remove our clothes
7 8ths and 2 3rds
There’s something you should know
7 8ths and 2 3rds
I’ve made a few mistakes
7 8ths and 2 3rds
And I’m hated by all of your mates

Try to contain your unending sense of joy
This is another self-absorbed missive
From another trans white boy
Or if you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about
It’s 'cos I never burst the bubble in which I hung out
Inside it we talked ourselves to death
Outside it made fuck all difference
We’ll be so absorbed in our own shit
We won’t even notice when somebody throws a brick

7 8ths and 2 3rds
So good at naval gazing
7 8ths and 2 3rds
So good at deconstructing
7 8ths and 2 3rds
So good at overthinking
7 8ths and 2 3rds
So bad at living

Just a final verse just a final reminder
We can’t live with each other
We can’t live without each other either
We’re full of deep and dark and fucked up desires
And bearing this in mind can we still share saliva?
But if everything we feel is constructed
Or if it’s just animals to which we amount
Better take that conditioning and that desire
And better make it count
'Cos I can’t really judge anyone unless
I’ve thrown the first Molotov
At all the bullshit that I came out of
And the memes that they constantly type
They say nothing to me about my life

7 8ths and 2 3rds
No I’m not a nihilist
7 8ths and 2 3rds
But we’re too self-righteous
7 8ths and 2 3rds
And as I remove my clothes
I’m a hypocrite I know
But I want
No more us and them
No more blame no shame
Let’s be bad and let’s be wrong
Because I thought that was the point all along!
Track Name: Mary Whitehouse
It’s too cold for cruising in Kennington Park tonight
Last time that we met you said you were uptight
Too uptight for the likes of me, taking all my liberties
You know I’m so tense I can barely sleep at night and

Sometimes I feel like I am Mary Whitehouse
With a bit of Stalin just to make my dad proud
Pitiless censor of my mind all the time
But you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere

I’ve always been a good boy and I’ve always bit my tongue
Always thought if someone disagrees I must be wrong
I censor everything crush every ounce of creativity
Mary Whitehouse is a tapeworm and she’s living inside me and

You couldn’t take me home to meet your parents
And you couldn’t take me to a dinner party full of academics
But you must understand that I obsessed over every word that I said
Because the Marxist approach says capitalism put aggressive impulses in my head
And Winnicot and Miller said it was my mum and dad
Or maybe it’s just human life full of darkness and rage and strife
But between this mess and Mary there is a slant of light and

Sometimes I feel like I am Mary Whitehouse
With a bit of Stalin just to make my dad proud
Pitiless censor of my mind all the time
But you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere
Not you you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere
Fuck you you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere
Track Name: Fuck Me Like You Hate Me
Another week I've been aggressive and inactive
Another weekend I've been feeling unattractive
You're very handsome but the rest of you's a mess
The perfect combination so why don't we undress
Misogynistic, hedonistic, frivolous and mean
Self-involved and arrogant - a walking wet dream
We'll fuck until our eyeballs burst and blood comes streaming out
Then pour salt in the sockets til we're screaming screaming out

Think of it as emotional collateral
Think of it as a social parable
Fuck me like you hate me
Or like you don't care at all
Think of it as emotional collateral
Think of it as a social parable
I'll fuck you like I hate you
Or like I don't care at all

Of course you hate me too because I'm scruffy and aloof
My accent is annoying and I rarely tell the truth
My parents think I'm happy, my neighbours think I'm straight
I never clean the bathroom and there's so much left to hate
I read instead of living and my friends don't really like me
I talk a lot of bollocks and it makes you want to strike me
Don't even own a comb, I kick my sister's pets
I don't see what the harm is in a little hate sex

Of course it won't work out and we'll turn into nervous wrecks
I don't see what the harm is in a little hate sex
Track Name: Greta Garbo
The smell of you’s the smell of sweat
The smell of stale cigarettes
And now it’s all over my bed
And I feel sick and I feel dead
The eyes of you all over me
On my face on my body
And you ask if I’m OK
And I say great and that you’re fit
But I feel sick oh I feel sick

I don’t want anyone who wants me
Violated by desire indifference sets me free
And I don’t want anyone who wants to know
I’m gonna be alone like I am Greta fucking Garbo
I don’t want anyone who wants me
Violated by desire indifference sets me free
And i don’t want anyone who wants to know
I wanna be alone like I am Greta fucking Garbo

I felt sick and so you said:
"Let me spend the weekend looking after you in bed"
Oh god, no thanks, that just reminds me
Of the role played by Kathy Bates in that film -
Misery
Oh please don't take it personally
It's just 'cos you showed an interest
'Cos you know if you didn't I'd be all over you like a rash
Oh please don't take it personally, you're funny, smart and hot
But when I look into your eyes
I feel like throwing up hey!

The smell of you’s the smell of sweat
The smell of stale cigarettes
And now it’s all over my bed
And I feel sick and I feel dead
Track Name: How You Lost Your Tooth
You bit me so hard that your tooth’s still in my leg
You bit me so hard that it hurt me in the head
You bit me so hard that I can’t get out of bed
But I don’t wanna go to work anyway

Next morning it was awkward cos you said you never should
Next morning it was awful, your mouth full of salty blood
You said, "Let’s pretend this never happened"
And I said, "What shall we say instead?
That you are a cannibal and you like eating leg?"

You said, "Sure, tell them that whatever
Just don’t mention the head"
You never even offered to help get the thing extracted
Instead you trot back to your girlfriend and I’ll trot back to my bed
Which is wet and salty with both our cum and blood

Well that was five years ago I never saw you again
Even though it had been going on for god knows how long
I never got your tooth extracted in fact I had it sewn in
So you’ll have to get through me if you wanna see it again
Cos I’d rather the biting and the scraps of affection
Even if it leads to another infection

And I wonder how you ever explained
It to your girlfriend when you got home again
Did you say, "I’ve got something to confess to you babe
I go to the cemetery and I try to eat graves"
Or that you had been in a boxing game
Or that flesh-eating zombies tried to rip out your brain

But it’s just like Kylie Minogue said:
I can’t get you the fuck out of my head
So until you come back to me or until one of us is dead
That tooth of yours is gonna stay in my leg
And if I could indict you I’d happily sell you out
I’d sell your story to the press don’t you have any doubt
I’d wave my whole leg, severed and dripping,
From a tall building as proof
Cos you’ll deny you ever met me
But it’s how you lost your tooth
Track Name: Never Trust a Sadist
We never did water sports when we were going out
But ever since you left I know what being pissed on is about
We never did water sports though I really wanted to
But even though that never happened I’m pissed off with you oh

Never trust a sadist
It’s a shame that love is blind
And all that pain and pleasure just left me
In a double bind
Never trust a sadist
But I’m a masochist
And even though I’m not into scat
I wind up in the shit oh

I remember the day you kicked me out
But before you changed the locks
You made me clean the house
And yes I sort of got off on it
Scrubbing on my hands and knees
But I cried when you kicked me out
Instead of kicking me

Why the fuck did you leave me?
I miss the way you shot your load
I miss the way you beat me up
And I miss biting the pillow
I miss the way you’d tie me up
And I miss sucking your dick
And I miss all that blood now being shed
By some other prick
Track Name: Flannery O'Connor
I killed your mother, stripped her bones
and now I'm somewhere in your home
and holding them up to the light to watch them glisten
Alright that isn't true
it's just I need to talk to you
it seemed the quickest way to make you listen

There is no wise blood in my body now
in fact it barely seems to know a thing
It rushes down and rises up
and never thinks about the trouble it will bring
And when the heat was there between us
well I thought you were the comfort of my home
but now the chill endures and though I've tried
it seems the life I saved was not my own

They say a good man's hard to find
and that the search will turn you blind
and when I spilled red wine across your book you didn't mind
But now you're never here
I barely see you twice a year
and were you a reading list, I'd fall behind

And now you're boxing up your books and records
and to see it puts me in a state
well I'll be keeping all the Flannery O'Connor
should you ever check the crate
And now you're boxing up your books and records
and to see it really is too much
well if you want to get your Flannery O'Connor back
you'll have to stay in touch

Every spine uncracked
Every spine intact
Every page unmatched
Every spine intact

And I know everything that rises must converge
but must it do it at this rate?
I've been reading all your Flannery O'Connor
and it's put me in a state
And I know everything that rises must converge
but must it do it at this time?
It could be worse, you could be Flannery O'Connor
and be dead at 39
Track Name: Bad Habits Die Old
All I want to do
Every single day
After I get home from work
Is eat take-away
The hippies say it’s bad for me
Yeah they say Namaste
But I’m gonna lie in bed and
Drink cider all day

'Cos bad habits die old
You don’t have to wait for your life to unfold
You don’t have to emerge, you don’t have to guess
It’s the same shit each year
But you care slightly less

It’s in the lovers that you chase
In your alcohol intake
In the things you cannot say
In the times you walked away
In the people that you hate
In your tiny vocal range
In melodrama, chaos and
The infections that you gained

And every single time you have failed to refrain
From doing something dumb and repeating to excess
It’s the same shit each year
But you care slightly less

Lying in your underwear
Listening to Joy Division
Sixteen years stuck
In the same position
Life doesn’t have to be some
Self-improvement mission
There’s no shame in being fucked up
Ignore positive thinking

'Cos they will try to cure you because they don’t like mess
Make you bow down to this world and don’t let you express
What did I learn from my times of distress?
It’s the same shit each year
But you care slightly less

And bad habits die old
You don’t have to wait for your life to unfold
You don’t have to strive to constantly be whole
You don’t have to become enlightened
You don’t have to be OK in the end
You don’t have to believe in love
You don’t have to transcend
You don’t have to emerge from anything at all
You don’t have to learn to sing
You don’t have to have it all
You don’t have to emerge
You don’t have to guess
It’s the same shit each year
But you care slightly less
Yes you care slightly less
Yes you care slightly less oh
The same shit each year
But you care slightly less oh!