The only reason I wanna jump on your bones Is 7 8ths social conditioning and 2 3rds pheromones And yes I know my maths might be a little out But nothing fits anyway, so chuck it all out And technically I’m not meant to want you to want me Because I’m not a woman and you’re a dyke But the rules of attraction are just a load of shite Fuck who you want and want who you like Just because you read it on the internet doesn’t mean it’s right And the memes that they constantly type They say nothing to me about my life 7 8ths and 2 3rds Before we remove our clothes 7 8ths and 2 3rds There’s something you should know 7 8ths and 2 3rds I’ve made a few mistakes 7 8ths and 2 3rds And I’m hated by all of your mates Try to contain your unending sense of joy This is another self-absorbed missive From another trans white boy Or if you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about It’s 'cos I never burst the bubble in which I hung out Inside it we talked ourselves to death Outside it made fuck all difference We’ll be so absorbed in our own shit We won’t even notice when somebody throws a brick 7 8ths and 2 3rds So good at naval gazing 7 8ths and 2 3rds So good at deconstructing 7 8ths and 2 3rds So good at overthinking 7 8ths and 2 3rds So bad at living Just a final verse just a final reminder We can’t live with each other We can’t live without each other either We’re full of deep and dark and fucked up desires And bearing this in mind can we still share saliva? But if everything we feel is constructed Or if it’s just animals to which we amount Better take that conditioning and that desire And better make it count 'Cos I can’t really judge anyone unless I’ve thrown the first Molotov At all the bullshit that I came out of And the memes that they constantly type They say nothing to me about my life 7 8ths and 2 3rds No I’m not a nihilist 7 8ths and 2 3rds But we’re too self-righteous 7 8ths and 2 3rds And as I remove my clothes I’m a hypocrite I know But I want No more us and them No more blame no shame Let’s be bad and let’s be wrong Because I thought that was the point all along!

It’s too cold for cruising in Kennington Park tonight Last time that we met you said you were uptight Too uptight for the likes of me, taking all my liberties You know I’m so tense I can barely sleep at night and Sometimes I feel like I am Mary Whitehouse With a bit of Stalin just to make my dad proud Pitiless censor of my mind all the time But you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere I’ve always been a good boy and I’ve always bit my tongue Always thought if someone disagrees I must be wrong I censor everything crush every ounce of creativity Mary Whitehouse is a tapeworm and she’s living inside me and You couldn’t take me home to meet your parents And you couldn’t take me to a dinner party full of academics But you must understand that I obsessed over every word that I said Because the Marxist approach says capitalism put aggressive impulses in my head And Winnicot and Miller said it was my mum and dad Or maybe it’s just human life full of darkness and rage and strife But between this mess and Mary there is a slant of light and Sometimes I feel like I am Mary Whitehouse With a bit of Stalin just to make my dad proud Pitiless censor of my mind all the time But you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere Not you you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere Fuck you you won’t believe me and you can’t take me anywhere

Another week I've been aggressive and inactive Another weekend I've been feeling unattractive You're very handsome but the rest of you's a mess The perfect combination so why don't we undress Misogynistic, hedonistic, frivolous and mean Self-involved and arrogant - a walking wet dream We'll fuck until our eyeballs burst and blood comes streaming out Then pour salt in the sockets til we're screaming screaming out Think of it as emotional collateral Think of it as a social parable Fuck me like you hate me Or like you don't care at all Think of it as emotional collateral Think of it as a social parable I'll fuck you like I hate you Or like I don't care at all Of course you hate me too because I'm scruffy and aloof My accent is annoying and I rarely tell the truth My parents think I'm happy, my neighbours think I'm straight I never clean the bathroom and there's so much left to hate I read instead of living and my friends don't really like me I talk a lot of bollocks and it makes you want to strike me Don't even own a comb, I kick my sister's pets I don't see what the harm is in a little hate sex Of course it won't work out and we'll turn into nervous wrecks I don't see what the harm is in a little hate sex

The smell of you’s the smell of sweat The smell of stale cigarettes And now it’s all over my bed And I feel sick and I feel dead The eyes of you all over me On my face on my body And you ask if I’m OK And I say great and that you’re fit But I feel sick oh I feel sick I don’t want anyone who wants me Violated by desire indifference sets me free And I don’t want anyone who wants to know I’m gonna be alone like I am Greta fucking Garbo I don’t want anyone who wants me Violated by desire indifference sets me free And i don’t want anyone who wants to know I wanna be alone like I am Greta fucking Garbo I felt sick and so you said: "Let me spend the weekend looking after you in bed" Oh god, no thanks, that just reminds me Of the role played by Kathy Bates in that film - Misery Oh please don't take it personally It's just 'cos you showed an interest 'Cos you know if you didn't I'd be all over you like a rash Oh please don't take it personally, you're funny, smart and hot But when I look into your eyes I feel like throwing up hey! The smell of you’s the smell of sweat The smell of stale cigarettes And now it’s all over my bed And I feel sick and I feel dead

You bit me so hard that your tooth’s still in my leg You bit me so hard that it hurt me in the head You bit me so hard that I can’t get out of bed But I don’t wanna go to work anyway Next morning it was awkward cos you said you never should Next morning it was awful, your mouth full of salty blood You said, "Let’s pretend this never happened" And I said, "What shall we say instead? That you are a cannibal and you like eating leg?" You said, "Sure, tell them that whatever Just don’t mention the head" You never even offered to help get the thing extracted Instead you trot back to your girlfriend and I’ll trot back to my bed Which is wet and salty with both our cum and blood Well that was five years ago I never saw you again Even though it had been going on for god knows how long I never got your tooth extracted in fact I had it sewn in So you’ll have to get through me if you wanna see it again Cos I’d rather the biting and the scraps of affection Even if it leads to another infection And I wonder how you ever explained It to your girlfriend when you got home again Did you say, "I’ve got something to confess to you babe I go to the cemetery and I try to eat graves" Or that you had been in a boxing game Or that flesh-eating zombies tried to rip out your brain But it’s just like Kylie Minogue said: I can’t get you the fuck out of my head So until you come back to me or until one of us is dead That tooth of yours is gonna stay in my leg And if I could indict you I’d happily sell you out I’d sell your story to the press don’t you have any doubt I’d wave my whole leg, severed and dripping, From a tall building as proof Cos you’ll deny you ever met me But it’s how you lost your tooth

We never did water sports when we were going out But ever since you left I know what being pissed on is about We never did water sports though I really wanted to But even though that never happened I’m pissed off with you oh Never trust a sadist It’s a shame that love is blind And all that pain and pleasure just left me In a double bind Never trust a sadist But I’m a masochist And even though I’m not into scat I wind up in the shit oh I remember the day you kicked me out But before you changed the locks You made me clean the house And yes I sort of got off on it Scrubbing on my hands and knees But I cried when you kicked me out Instead of kicking me Why the fuck did you leave me? I miss the way you shot your load I miss the way you beat me up And I miss biting the pillow I miss the way you’d tie me up And I miss sucking your dick And I miss all that blood now being shed By some other prick

I killed your mother, stripped her bones and now I'm somewhere in your home and holding them up to the light to watch them glisten Alright that isn't true it's just I need to talk to you it seemed the quickest way to make you listen There is no wise blood in my body now in fact it barely seems to know a thing It rushes down and rises up and never thinks about the trouble it will bring And when the heat was there between us well I thought you were the comfort of my home but now the chill endures and though I've tried it seems the life I saved was not my own They say a good man's hard to find and that the search will turn you blind and when I spilled red wine across your book you didn't mind But now you're never here I barely see you twice a year and were you a reading list, I'd fall behind And now you're boxing up your books and records and to see it puts me in a state well I'll be keeping all the Flannery O'Connor should you ever check the crate And now you're boxing up your books and records and to see it really is too much well if you want to get your Flannery O'Connor back you'll have to stay in touch Every spine uncracked Every spine intact Every page unmatched Every spine intact And I know everything that rises must converge but must it do it at this rate? I've been reading all your Flannery O'Connor and it's put me in a state And I know everything that rises must converge but must it do it at this time? It could be worse, you could be Flannery O'Connor and be dead at 39

All I want to do Every single day After I get home from work Is eat take-away The hippies say it’s bad for me Yeah they say Namaste But I’m gonna lie in bed and Drink cider all day 'Cos bad habits die old You don’t have to wait for your life to unfold You don’t have to emerge, you don’t have to guess It’s the same shit each year But you care slightly less It’s in the lovers that you chase In your alcohol intake In the things you cannot say In the times you walked away In the people that you hate In your tiny vocal range In melodrama, chaos and The infections that you gained And every single time you have failed to refrain From doing something dumb and repeating to excess It’s the same shit each year But you care slightly less Lying in your underwear Listening to Joy Division Sixteen years stuck In the same position Life doesn’t have to be some Self-improvement mission There’s no shame in being fucked up Ignore positive thinking 'Cos they will try to cure you because they don’t like mess Make you bow down to this world and don’t let you express What did I learn from my times of distress? It’s the same shit each year But you care slightly less And bad habits die old You don’t have to wait for your life to unfold You don’t have to strive to constantly be whole You don’t have to become enlightened You don’t have to be OK in the end You don’t have to believe in love You don’t have to transcend You don’t have to emerge from anything at all You don’t have to learn to sing You don’t have to have it all You don’t have to emerge You don’t have to guess It’s the same shit each year But you care slightly less Yes you care slightly less Yes you care slightly less oh The same shit each year But you care slightly less oh!